I freeze every time someone whom I’m not familiar becomes too touchy towards me. To those whom I’m not familiar with, if you stroke my hair, I will freeze and my heart begin to pound rapidly, because I’m afraid…

Well, this matter has been deep inside my heart, hoping one day I would forget about it. You know I tend to sit as far as I can from the person beside (during bus rides) all because, argh…. A man has touched me before.

I was on a long ride to Tampines and along the way a man board and sat beside me. He was dressed like a monk, during the ride, he sat with his face facing me. How to describe .. …

He’s in a sitting position but with his right shoulder instead of his back leaning again the back cushion. I was of course abit shocked at that time, but thought maybe he felt more comfortable sitting this way. I ignored him, this is the first mistake I made. I should have changed seats… too late to regret now also…

Awhile later, I began to feel cold, so I rubbed my hands… he opened his eyes and spoke to me.

“So you are cold?” he asked. I just nodded my head and continue staring out of the window.

A moment later, I felt a hand on my knee… I froze and was so shocked !! I pushed his hand away and his hand came back and he placed it on the same spot again. In less than a minute but felt like eternity, we reached the interchange he stood up and alighted. He still have the cheek to give me a smile…

I was so naïve at that time, I was only 13 or 14 years old but it made me wary of men… since that time, I never trust those uncles beside me even those with extremely fatherly look, looks can be deceiving !!

No one knows about this, and now I feel so much better. Although it wasn’t very serious case but it does serves as a warning, there are so many disgusting men out there…

¶ 22.9.05